Not a virgin anymore...
Okay, so yeah. My very first post on my very first blog diary.
What to write, what to write...
Been thinking a lot lately about the relationships in my life and though it seems bizarre to me, I think I've out grown them. I'm finding more and more dissatisfaction when I spend time with my "friends", almost as if they take more out of me than I am getting back. Is that normal? Just a hump in the road so to speak? This then is the dilema, am I truly on the edge of some great precipice waiting to take the first step toward my future...or, am I just being harsh and critical and impatient. I have been known to have all those charecteristics at on time or another. Anyway, there just seems to be this competitavness now and I HATE that beyond anything. Why is it so hard for women to just feel comfortable in their own skin?! Be yourself, own your spirit. Why try to give it away?
I love my life really, it's just this aura of change...I can smell it. Like the dew on the grass or the mist in the air before the monsoon. How old will I be before I learn to embrace it. Maybe I should ask grandma, she would know. Then again, maybe not.
How foolish it is to long for childhood,
to want to run in circles in the yard again,
arms out streched,
pretending to be an airplane.
How senseless to dread whatever lies before us
when, night and day, the boats,
strong as horses in the wind,
come and go,
bringing in the tiny infants
and carrying away the bodies of the dead.
What to write, what to write...
Been thinking a lot lately about the relationships in my life and though it seems bizarre to me, I think I've out grown them. I'm finding more and more dissatisfaction when I spend time with my "friends", almost as if they take more out of me than I am getting back. Is that normal? Just a hump in the road so to speak? This then is the dilema, am I truly on the edge of some great precipice waiting to take the first step toward my future...or, am I just being harsh and critical and impatient. I have been known to have all those charecteristics at on time or another. Anyway, there just seems to be this competitavness now and I HATE that beyond anything. Why is it so hard for women to just feel comfortable in their own skin?! Be yourself, own your spirit. Why try to give it away?
I love my life really, it's just this aura of change...I can smell it. Like the dew on the grass or the mist in the air before the monsoon. How old will I be before I learn to embrace it. Maybe I should ask grandma, she would know. Then again, maybe not.
How foolish it is to long for childhood,
to want to run in circles in the yard again,
arms out streched,
pretending to be an airplane.
How senseless to dread whatever lies before us
when, night and day, the boats,
strong as horses in the wind,
come and go,
bringing in the tiny infants
and carrying away the bodies of the dead.